Church Lady Clocks a Teacher

Dear Church Lady: I am shocked by your violent reaction to our incidental contact during the swim — that elbow that grazed your nose was quite accidental. While I admit that I made innocuous motor boat noises with my mouth when I passed you on the bike course, that was done only in good fun. To punch me like that after I nudged you out of age group hardware at the Our Lady of Guadalupe Blessed Virgin of the Hydration Belt sprint tri was a total cheap shot. I suggest we settle this like real women — on the Ironman Wisconsin course in September. Lady, you best keep your head up during the bike. Signed, The Teacher You Clocked.