Borat and Vino: Cultural Learnings of a Tour de France Jackass

So Vino has tested positive for a blood transfusion and his Astana team has quit the Tour. Way to stomp on the final pieces of the Tour's already battered heart, you chump.

Anyway, Activeness! has obtained an exclusive transcript of a just-completed interview of humiliated Kazakh rider Alexandre Vinokourov conducted by good friend and fellow Kazakh, Borat.

Borat: Our country send you to France of Tour to make win. Now with blood transfusion you are disgrace by Kazakhstan greatest country in the world. I think you will be execute, pimp.
Vino: I still win time trial and Staging 15. I do it for Pamela Andersons and her plastic chests!
Borat: Much respecting for CJ. Maybe they just snap off your manhood. Do dopey transfusions also help you make sexy time with Kirsten Gum?
Vino: Naughty! Naughty! Please stopping now.
Borat: You are representing Kazakhstan not so good, vanilla face.
Vino: I am fearing gypsy UCI doping testers seek to destroy glorious Kazakh riders.
Borat: Reminding me of that asshole Nursultan Tulyakbay.
Vino: Now needing money. Would you be interest in buying my treasures?
Borat: I cannot afford more than two dollar for your riding machine. I try to mount goat.
Vino: You can using bike to pull plow in wheat fields. I would like to sell you carbon time trial.
Borat: Fly-thru seat tube and disc wheel is very, very nice. Very nice! But baby-blue color is popular only with little girls of Uzbekistan.
Vino: Like Kloeden.
Borat: High-five! What is future? Will you continue go party with Robbie Ventura and prank calls with Floyd?
Vino: I try Bull Riding Professional Tour on Versus. Will you singing anthem? I'm now bicycle retired.
Borat: You are a retard? Physical or mental?
Vino: Thank you for watch my Tour. I hope you like.

Borat at the Tour de France: