Activating Matt Cazalas

Wheels up! SwimBikeRun St. Louis Czar Matt Cazalas has auctioned off many of his possessions and hit the road unsupported on his touring bike, with all his gear in tow, no knowledge of where he'll sleep each night, and no plans to see the St. Louis Arch again until September.

The title of his journal's web site — crazyguyonabike.com — sort of says it all.

The entire Activeness staff is impressed. In fact, Anonymous Racer X is considering a similar journey. He has begun exploring ways to hitch a trailer to his bike so he can haul his hyperbaric chamber and sleep in that along the way.

Good luck, Mr. C., and stay safe! A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Track Crash (Into Me)

Would Lance Armstrong Enter a Political Race?

He seems to have all the skills and to be veering in that direction, reports the Dallas Morning News. I'd vote for an Armstrong presidency, if only to see the Olsen twins as co-First Ladies.

Movie Review: Hell on Wheels (2005)

Rating: 4/4 water bottles
(German with English subtitles)

If your idea of a perfect July morning is putting rubber to road and hammering out a half century at first light so you can get home to watch the end of that day's Tour de France stage live — or if you just like watching the Tour and always wonder when the riders pee — you need to put "Hell on Wheels" (Höllentour, or "Hell Tour" in the original German) at the top of your Netflix queue.

The movie's billing as a documentary tracking the German Team Telekom through the 2003 Tour de France does it an injustice by not hinting at its powerful visceral impact. As the centennial celebration of the Tour, the entire 2003 race took place inside the borders of France. The cinematography features the stunning French landscape as the ideal backdrop for the extreme drama of that year's tour. But for every wondrous aerial shot of the Alps we also see bikes being scrubbed, tender bodies being massaged, butt gel being applied to shorts, road rash being "scraped" off skin, and an ambitious domestique stuffing seven water bottles down the back of his jersey. Realizing that the Tour is holy, the filmmakers also know that God is in the details.

The focus of "Hell on Wheels," is on the journey, not the destination. Unless you already know that Lance Armstrong collected Tour victory number five, you won't even know who won the race, which was one of the most eventful in recent years. But you will be enveloped by the majesty of the Tour in ways you hadn't imagined.

At the center of the movie is long-time champion German sprinter Erik Zabel, just beginning his descent from glory, and his more workmanlike friend and teammate, Rolf Aldag. The race doesn't go well for Zabel, who in one weak moment asks, "Why didn't I become a surfer?" I've definitely never heard of 'ocean rash.'

Reclining in his hotel room bed after a brutal day in the Alps in which he has taken over temporary possession of the polka dot jersey for best climber, Aldag gazes at and literally caresses the jersey. "Every spot on this jersey probably cost me a year of my life," he says matter-of-factly. "And there are a lot of spots on it."

Also getting ample screen time are Armstrong, Jan Ullrich, Tyler Hamilton (riding courageously with a broken collarbone), a baby-faced Alexander Vinokurov, Richard Virenque and Andreas Klöden, who rode several stages with a broken tailbone.

A grizzled Team Telekom trainer who looks every bit as wise as his 60+ years would indicate reveals the essence of the movie while delivering a soliloquy on suffering: "Suffering can be negative. If you try to suffer for its own sake, that's unhealthy. … But when you talk about suffering that you must get through and that you can survive through enormous effort, that is something else. That is positive, good and beautiful. Beautiful because you think of courage, of stamina, loyalty the willingness to make sacrifices, modesty and love. From this perspective, the suffering during training, during sporting competitions, while doing one's job, which all require great effort, is the same as religious suffering. It is love. It is beautiful. I like that."

I like that, too. I also liked learning that the riders aren't as unaffected and impenetrable as they often appear on TV. Guess what? When they're sitting in the team van after the stage, they're doing the same thing we all do with our riding buddies: laughing and moaning about the lousy headwinds, hills, road conditions and other riders.

Over more than 2,000 miles of French roads, "Hell on Wheels" takes us on a whirlwind ride exposing all the glory and pain — the sweet and the sour — that makes the Tour worth savoring and life worth living.

Is it smart to barrel down a mountain at "95 kilometers per hour on a 2.5 centimeter tire" when you suffered so much on the climb that you can't see straight? Hell no, but "Hell on Wheels" helps us understand why these riders are so driven to do it.

"Hell on Wheels" clip — Lance Armstrong's Duel With Jan Ullrich:

Book Review: How Lance Does It by Brad Kearns

Rating: 3 water bottles (out of 4)

Unlike many of the other “Lance books,” How Lance Does It is not about cycling. Instead, it tries to distill the key factors that make Lance a champion into a digestable offering to the reader as “the Success Formula” in whatever it is that you do.

The reasons Lance was able to win The Tour seven times and is an international icon and celebrity spokesperson for cancer are not that surprising. According to Kearns, the formula entails having 1) a positive attitude, 2) clarity of purpose, 3) specialized intelligence, and 4) pure confidence.

Kearns offers many examples and explains the nuances within each category through examples of how Lance exemplifies each success factor. I especially enjoyed the stories of young Lance as a triathlete.

It’s a quick read (185 pages finished in two sittings) and makes you want to keep going. Kearns challenges the reader to look within and shows no remorse in proclaiming his disdain for the rat race, unhealthy living, and the consumerism mentality as it relates to success and perceived happiness in America. Amen, brother.

My biggest takeaway was Kearns’ reference to new-age author Don Miguel Ruiz, who said, “Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say is a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be a victim of needless suffering.”

Cycling Elba With Andy Hampsten

"Two decades after winning the Giro d’Italia, Andy Hampsten still believes there’s nothing sweeter than biking the open roads of Italy. His clients rarely disagree." Outside Go Magazine story. Love this sentiment on riding from Davis Phinney: "When you get down to the bare bones of it, just being on the road with some of your buddies, no matter how old you are, you never lose that boyish feeling. That is what cycling's all about."

Tour of Missouri Photo Gallery

What an awesome display in St. Louis on Sunday. Congrats to Big George.

Tour of Missouri Flickr photoset.

Big George Hincapie rides to the start:



Alberto Contador looked relaxed. It boggles my mind that the 2007 Tour de France winner's wheels were rolling on pavement in my hometown, where my wheels have touched:



The recalcitrant Levi had a bodyguard-type blocking for him:



No, thank YOU, sign girl!



Buzzing through midtown St. Louis on a beautiful September day:

Activating Cycle Chic: Copenhagen Girls on Bikes

"'Social Documentary in High Heels', is one way this blog has been described. It's about bicycle culture in Copenhagen, Denmark. 35% of the population - 550,000 people - ride their bike to work or school each day. Bicycles are such an integral part of our culture and there are many aesthetic aspects on the streets at any given moment." Contrast that with the United States of Wal-Mart / Four-Car Garage (perfect for Hummers) nation of lazy suburban drivers we have become. Welcome to Copenhagen.

28 Non-Doping Cyclists Finally Finish Tour De France

"A small but enthusiastic crowd of several dozen was on hand at the Tour de France's finish line on the Avenue des Champs-E�lys�es Tuesday to applaud the efforts of the 28 cyclists who completed the grueling 20-stage, 2,208.3-mile race without the aid of performance-enhancing drugs." The Onion story.

Tour of Missouri's Second Stage Marred by Armadillo Collision

Wayward armadillo: You have been Deactivated. SI.com story.

Jim Kunstler's 2007 Summer Bike Route

The photojournal of James Howard Kunstler's Summer 2007 Bike Route near Saratoga Springs, N.Y., is way more interesting to me than it probably should be. Here's a guy who truly thinks about what he sees.

Kunstler, author of The Long Emergency: Surviving the Converging Catastrophes of the Twenty-First Century and this blog on Long Emergency-type issues, makes a compellingly strong, chilling case that our society is headed for a crashing fall and that our leaders are asleep at the wheel. Will our economy and entire way of life really collapse as climate change becomes irreversible and our oil runs out? Or can we make grand, sweeping changes in how we live in order to do so sustainably? Questions to ponder as you peddle through your own Summer 2007 Bike Route. Let me know if you want to borrow the book.

How Bad Off Must Pro Cycling Be When Lance Armstrong Won't Touch It?

"Things need to improve before you would see us venture back into cycling," says Armstrong, as the team he co-owns announced it would disband. After ripping up the Tour de France, the Discovery Channel team hasn't been able to find a new title sponsor willing to be associated with a sport riddled with cheats and liars (but that I still love). The good news is that Levi, Alberto, George and co. will ride in September's Tour de Missouri. VeloNews story.

Summer Travels III

Before I visited the National Air and Space Museum in DC, I didn't know that the Wright Brothers used The Wright Cycle Company's profits to finance their aviation tests.

Jon Stewart and The Daily Show on le Tour de France

Lots of Big Laughs in "The Audacity of Dope":

Borat and Vino: Cultural Learnings of a Tour de France Jackass

So Vino has tested positive for a blood transfusion and his Astana team has quit the Tour. Way to stomp on the final pieces of the Tour's already battered heart, you chump.

Anyway, Activeness! has obtained an exclusive transcript of a just-completed interview of humiliated Kazakh rider Alexandre Vinokourov conducted by good friend and fellow Kazakh, Borat.

Borat: Our country send you to France of Tour to make win. Now with blood transfusion you are disgrace by Kazakhstan greatest country in the world. I think you will be execute, pimp.
Vino: I still win time trial and Staging 15. I do it for Pamela Andersons and her plastic chests!
Borat: Much respecting for CJ. Maybe they just snap off your manhood. Do dopey transfusions also help you make sexy time with Kirsten Gum?
Vino: Naughty! Naughty! Please stopping now.
Borat: You are representing Kazakhstan not so good, vanilla face.
Vino: I am fearing gypsy UCI doping testers seek to destroy glorious Kazakh riders.
Borat: Reminding me of that asshole Nursultan Tulyakbay.
Vino: Now needing money. Would you be interest in buying my treasures?
Borat: I cannot afford more than two dollar for your riding machine. I try to mount goat.
Vino: You can using bike to pull plow in wheat fields. I would like to sell you carbon time trial.
Borat: Fly-thru seat tube and disc wheel is very, very nice. Very nice! But baby-blue color is popular only with little girls of Uzbekistan.
Vino: Like Kloeden.
Borat: High-five! What is future? Will you continue go party with Robbie Ventura and prank calls with Floyd?
Vino: I try Bull Riding Professional Tour on Versus. Will you singing anthem? I'm now bicycle retired.
Borat: You are a retard? Physical or mental?
Vino: Thank you for watch my Tour. I hope you like.

Borat at the Tour de France:

Riding a Mountain Stage of the Tour de France Without Bothering to Really Train

Writer Martin Dugard rode Stage 15, which will take place in the Pyrenees next week, as part of the Tour-sponsored � L'Etape du Tour. More than eleven-and-a-half hours later, Dugard dragged his diaper-rashed butt and rubbery legs across the finish with a new level of awe for the Tour riders. He claims to have trained for the 122-mile journey, which featured five major ascents, with "a single 50-miler" as his long ride. This seems ill-advised, to be nice, and borderline disrespectful of the event, but the dude sure can write. "If someone had walked up and asked if I would liked an injection of EPO, I'd have told him to make it a double."

Dog Days at the Tour de France

I'd like to see them put a leash around the neck of the owner of this poor dog.

Caple Falls for Floyd

ESPN.com writer Jim Caple got to ride with Floyd Landis in Seattle in exchange for promoting Landis' new book. ESPN Page 2 story.

My two favorite parts:

* Caple got his cleat stuck in his Shimano pedal and tipped over in front of Landis. Ahh, flustered Freddie!

and

* Landis' final quote: "If I never ride another race, I won the Tour de France. And if they don't like it, f--- 'em."

Landis: Doping or Just a Dope?

Great question, Sally Jenkins, ghostwriter of Lance's books. Though it's always a fun, harmless prank (WTF?) to threaten to expose someone's sexual abuse as a child, I'd also throw in Dumb and Dumber to describe Floyd and his "ex-manager/best friend" and the alleged attempt to blackmail Greg Lemond.

My New Favorite Riding Partner Is a Cat-2 (Year-Old)

The stylish pink basket is perfect for holding Clif Bars, gels, salt tabs, extra bottles, cell phone, money, tubes, tools, etc. during our rides up and down the driveway. She's always willing to take a strong pull up front, hammers the descents, and doesn't usually spit on me.

Look for her as the first woman rider in the Tour de France in 2030 (wonder if Floyd's case will be decided by then?).

Floyd Landis Update

Still getting screwed by apparent USADA collusion with the French LNDD lab and L'Equipe. Still proclaiming innocence despite many positive samples. Still confusing my simple caveman mind.

Official floydlandis.com response.

Tom Boonen Wrecks His Lamborghini

Belgian cyclist Tom Boonen had a beautiful yellow Lamborghini. Then he smashed it while trying to dodge a cat crossing the road.

Lessons:
1. Belgian sprint specialists pull in a lot of Euros.
2. Cats are annoying.

Sidewalked

With spring being sprung with 65-degree temps, it was time for the first outdoor ride of the season. Activated.

About five miles into the ride, I got my first hostile driver of the season. "Get on the sidewalk," yelled some jackass from his pickup as he passed within a few bike widths. Wow — 1986 called: It wants its material back, I thought. Then I looked to my right and pointed to the sign I was passing at that exact second: "BIKE LANE." Deactivated.

Spin Instructor Wins Lottery, Spends $65K on Bikes

Brad Duke: For being smart about your $85 million lottery payout while still buying yourself 17 bikes — along with a used Jetta because it fit your bike rack "really well" —you have been Activated. I'd do it the same way, brother. Fortune story.

Performance Spring

Forget the stupid groundhog (though Groundhog Day is a classic movie). You know it's going to be spring soon when Performance Bike pelts you with 357 emails in a one-month span. I typically would not shop somewhere just for this reason, but I guess I like what they do. And this year they had me at "Free Shipping for Four Days." The usual spring order is a combination of nutrition, cleaning, and miscellaneous clothing products. This year:

DeFeet D-Sock
Accelerade Drink Mix - Lemon Lime, 56 Servings
Clif Bar - 12 Pack Peanut Butter (3)
Pedro's Ice Wax - 4 oz. (2)
Pedro's Orange Peelz Degreaser (2)
Primal Wear Mojo India Pale Ale Jersey

Should get me through the summer. By the time my order arrives, it better be spring.

For now, Performance Bike web site: For forcing me to switch from a Mac to a PC to complete my order, you have been Deactivated.

Leipheimer Keeps Lead

The Tour of California finished in Santa Rosa, Levi Leipheimer's hometown. New York Times story.

Here's the Tour's VERSUS TV schedule.

Tour of California Gets Rolling

Levi Leipheimer won the two-mile prologue in downtown San Francisco.

Floyd Landis Still Trying to Save His Name

The poor guy remains hung up in some sort of Jean Paul Sartre play. No Exit II? He deserves to get some sort of resolution as soon as possible. San Jose Mercury News story.

Tour of Missouri Announced

Cool news: The new 600-mile Tour of Missouri cycling race will join similar races in Georgia and California as one of North American's top three pro races. The race will start in Kansas City Sept 11 and finish Sept. 16 in St. Louis, with a time trial in Branson. I'm picturing Ivan Basso and George Hincapie wearing shades and taking in an Oak Ridge Boys concert together. STLtoday story.

Tour of Missouri web site.

By the way, after this season Disco is nomo.

Introducing the HyperBike

Who needs oil when we could all be getting around on the HyperBike? SPACE.com story.

Insane Mountain Bike Video

Activating downhill:

Trainer Ear Candy From PEZ — And My Own Trainer Playlist

What are PEZ's readers listening to on the trainer this winter? Lots of metal, according to this story. And especially a lot of Slipknot, whose members wear masks and jumpsuits (R.I.P, Kiss. Gene, Paul. Ace, and Peter: We aren't in the '70s anymore.).

With snow blowing into town tonight, seeing those playlists at PEZ made me think about burning a new CD or two for tomorrow's trainer workout. Since Apple hasn't asked me to provide an iTunes celebrity playlist — yet, anyway — I'll do it here and now:

"Slippery People," Talking Heads: Turn it up to 11.
"Everlong," Foo Fighters: This song got stuck in my head during one of my first marathons. "You've got to promise not to stop when I say when."
"Float On," Modest Mouse: A good ride will help you get your "float" on in a way that's legal in all 50 states and Puerto Rico.
"What It Is," Mark Knopfler: Is there a more underrated guitar player than Knopfler? Here he transports us into a London tavern and lets it rip.
"Talk," "Speed of Sound," or "White Shadows," Coldplay: All from "X&Y." Any of these three alter my consciousness enough to take me to that place where I'm hammering a never-ending, smooth piece of country road with winds at my back.
"Texas Ride Song," The Bodeans: Riding is fun. This song is fun. Life should be fun.
"The Seed," The Roots & Cody Chestnutt: Break away from the pack from the downbeat.
"Won't Get Fooled Again," The Who: Roger Daltrey's primal scream at the climax must be the transcendent moment in rock 'n roll. And hearing it in person while watching Pete Townshend windmilling on his guitar is one of my top concert memories.
"All These Things That I've Done," The Killers: "I got soul but I'm not a soldier." Great lyrics.
"(Ghost) Riders in the Sky," The Outlaws: There's something about Southern rock and riding. So it's either this or some Skynyrd. Freebird!
"Shimmer," Fuel: Is every love story doomed to be a tragedy? Is all that shimmers sure to fade away? Not if you buy a carbon or titanium frame.
"Like a Hurricane," Neil Young: Hey, new generation of punks, rappers, and rockers: Neil Young always will be able to kick your ass.
"I'm Not Like Everybody Else," Camper Van Beethoven: Why would you want to be like anybody else? I don't want to get all in their bidness, but if I were a creative making TV spots to sell running shoes, I'd use this song.
"Island in the Sun," Weezer: Gotta keep the dream and hope all the hard work and sandcastles built will pay off with an island in the sun.
"Breakdown" (Live at the Wiltern Theatre), Tom Petty: Sing along with Tom. "It's alright!"
"Fish," Daniel Johnson: This guy is way crazy. The authentic tortured artist.
"All Along the Watchtower," Jimi Hendrix: In the presence of perfection...you better put down the hammer and earn the right to listen.
"Monkey Gone to Heaven," The Pixies: Sludge? Hole in the sky? You can kill a few minutes during the ride trying to figure out the bizarre lyrics.
"Monkey Man," The Rolling Stones: Two monkey songs on one list. Let It Bleed.
"Cold Hard Bitch," Jet: Enough said.
"Youth of a Nation," P.O.D.: These guys hit it hard for Christian rockers.
"Shook Me All Night Long," AC/DC: "She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean." This is more than old school — it's forever school. And it satisfies the mandate of the World Spinning Playlist Authority (WSPA) that all spin mixes must include at least one AC/DC tune.
"Seven Nation Army," The White Stripes: "Make the sweat drip out of every pore."
"Mental," Eels: "They say I'm mental 'cause I'm not amused by it all." Beautiful Freak is a great disc.
"Heaven and Hell," Black Sabbath: You can find heaven and hell on any long ride. And you can really climb to the bassline of this song. Ozzy who?
"Crank," Catherine Wheel: A Catherine Wheel was some kind of medieval torture device. Spin fast enough during this song and you can make your trainer feel like one.
"Breathe Me," Sia: Even real men do a cooldown. Just when you thought you could forget the haunting finale of Six Feet Under.

Bring on the snow! And get me some good asthma drugs.

More Than 1,000 Miles on a Stationary Bike

Forty-nine-year-old George Hood of suburban Chicago rode a stationary bike for 85 consecutive hours. He spun more than 1,000 miles and averaged close to 13 MPH.

Hood had hoped to ride for 85:30, but Veronica Myers, 53, of Arlington Heights, pointed out that she had signed up for that bike at that time on the previous Tuesday and insisted that he dismount. That part is not true.

Landis and Lance to Race Across the Sky at Leadville

Floyd Landis says he'll compete August 11 in the Leadville (Colo.) Trail 100, a high-altitude mountain bike race. Lance Armstrong has already announced that he plans to race. I wonder what he thinks about Landis jumping in and raising the stakes? Bet he just amped up his training plan, but I think Landis will be the guy riding it like he stole it. USA Today story.

Activating Trust But Verify

The TBV blog has daily news and commentary about the Floyd Landis doping allegations, with an admitted personal bias for Floyd. Great stuff. I have no way of knowing who's innocent or guilty, but TBV's info and links make it clear that the testing entitities are about as well-run as the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin. "It's simply beyond words. It's incalculable."

Floyd Landis Probably Isn't Laughing at the Operation Gatorade Spoof

Operation Gatorade is a spoof about a fictional Australian athletic commission raiding athletes who use Gatorade to gain an unfair advantage. Funny.

Meanwhile, New York Daily News sports writer Wayne Coffey went to visit Floyd Landis at his home in the hills north of San Diego.

"If there is an athlete who has had a swifter and harder fall from grace than Floyd Landis, it is hard to imagine who."

Poignant story.

Is Floyd Landis's Cycling Career Over?

He thinks it might be. Whatever you believe about his positive drug test after the Tour de France — I'd like to believe he's innocent but wonder why I should — his story is tragic.